i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
