Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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