The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
