hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
