The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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