anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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