She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i came on her dog
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize