Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
