Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
