you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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