I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
