Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
