with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
