Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
