Tell her she can't have a vagina
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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