ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Someone shit on the floor
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
