I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize