I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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