I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
