But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
