I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
