Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
