a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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