i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
