Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
