I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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