I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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