the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
