so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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