did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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