We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
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Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
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Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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