theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
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I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
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there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize