you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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