Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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