We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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