Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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