I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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