I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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