well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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