part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
