I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
