yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
