She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
