its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
