You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
