and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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