Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
