I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
