me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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