Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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