My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
