I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Are we still banned from the library?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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