my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
