New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
