So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
