I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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