Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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