he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
