oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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