You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
