So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
