You're so nebulous sometimes
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
