Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
