also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
