Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Randomize
