you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
