I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
